My waterlily did not survive. I’m also reluctant to tell this fact in my blog because I feel horribly responsible for this.  For the past week I’ve been experiencing the extreme emotions of guilt, fascination and lust.

I’ve been mesmerized by the unfortunate demise of my waterlily. With both enormous guilt and fascination, I watched her flower petals and lily pads bruise, wilt and decay. There was a strange beauty about this process.

I’ve also been experiencing the same emotions (with some lust thrown in) watching, from afar, the unfolding of NY Fashion Week. Clicking through every blog known to mankind, I’ve been watching runway events and wishing I could be in NY and in the swirl of all the runway shows, flash, glamour and parties.

Meanwhile, my poor waterlily was gasping for her last breath. Guilt. Fascination. Lust.

I alleviated some of my waterlily guilt by discovering the ancient Japanese belief of wabi-sabi: “....finding beauty in imperfection and profundity in nature, of accepting the natural cycle of growth, decay and death.”

I satiated my fascination, and honored the japanese belief of wabi-sabi, by photographically documenting the beauty of my waterlily’s decay.

As much as I tried to make the correlation between wabi-sabi belief and the “natural cycle of growth, decay and death” as it applied to my bank account and shopping, my accountant did not see it the same way. The decay of my bank account is not exactly what the Japanese had in mind. Although it appears I have been a practicing wabi-sabi disciple for years!

So, although I’m lusting for those Helmut Lang leather leggings (someone who has a healthy bank account should check them out!), I’ve kept my guilt at bay. At least as long as it takes for the reorder to come in because my size was sold out. Guilt. Fascination. Lust. Bankruptcy. Please, do me a favor. Get on the waiting list for the Helmut Lang leather leggings and make sure my size is sold out before I can get to them.